The Top 10 Rules for Polite ‘Christian’ Conversation in a Postmodern Culture

1. Always be ‘nice’. It’s absolutely essential to be perceived by the listeners in the room (real or virtual) that you are a really ‘nice’ person. Keep in mind that ‘nice’ to some people might be totally offensive to others. In a group of 10, 8 ‘nice’ votes to 2 ‘not nice’ votes is a really good score! 10 out of 10 ‘nice’ votes is a bonafide miracle.

2. Smile a lot. That’s hard to do sometimes, especially face-to-face, if your bunions are killing you or your acid reflux is kicking in. Smiling is always easy in ‘virtual’ conversations though, because you can use those little “Smiley Faces’ and fake everybody out. Smile even when you are talking about serious matters (like ‘sin’). Smiles always work and can even be very profitable (Ask Joel Osteen)!

3. Always talk about the soft spoken,’nice’ Jesus, and never talk about the ‘other’ Jesus, who mentioned hell a lot, called certain folks a few choice names, and turned over a table or two, and even had the nerve to tell people to ‘repent’ of their ‘sin’.

4. Speaking of repentance, don’t go there. If you do, remember it’s always connected to the “S” word, which is an even worse word to use and guaranteed to cost you ‘nice’ votes.

5. If the conversation absolutely requires using ‘uncomfortable’ words, water down the meaning. For instance, use ‘mistakes’ instead of sin. You can make them completely inoffensive by adding ‘spiritual’ sounding concepts. Example: “We all make’mistakes’, but that’s OK, God understands!”

6. Never ask hard questions, like “What IS the gospel?”, or “Does God hate anyone?” at least if you intend to answer them biblically. If the intent is to consider all answers equal and congratulate everybody in the room for their deep insight, go ahead and ask them.

7. Avoid at all costs ‘messy’ doctrinal topics. If someone else in the room brings one up, preempt any arguments with warnings against divisiveness, even if the topic goes to the character and nature of God. Example – predestination. Better yet, forget about doctrine altogether.

8. Have a variety of ‘caveats’ that can be used to precede anything you say or write that might possibly offend someone. Example: “I might be totally wrong here, but Romans 3:11 says NO ONE seeks God!” Have a lot of them handy, and never use the same one twice in a row.

9. Never suggest that a passage of scripture might not mean what it is always used for. Example: Everyone ‘knows’ Revelation 3:22 is about Jesus knocking on the door of a sinners heart even though Jesus is actually knocking on the door of a lukewarm church.

10. Above all, NEVER take a stand on anything even if it’s the exact text of a passage of scripture! It might be true, but actually taking a stand signals to all the postmodernists in the room (which might be everybody but you), that you are an intolerant, arrogant know-it-all who is forcing his ‘personal opinion’ on everyone else.

14 responses to “The Top 10 Rules for Polite ‘Christian’ Conversation in a Postmodern Culture

  1. I just wanted to hop on number 2. I just learned how to use smileys a few months ago. I’m gonna be really careful where I insert those in the future!


    • I have violated everyone of the ‘rules’ multiple times. What is personally frustrating is joining a blog forum thread that is supposed to be a “Christian” blog and getting hammered by folks who counsel me on my ‘tone’ when I ask hypothetical questions with a lot of “IF” statements/questions, speak in the third person etc. Just because I find out that one of the ‘Christian’ forum moderators is a Oneness Pentecostal Modalist and I try to discuss doctrine, I am accusing the guy of not being saved. They don’t know how to have an ‘objective’ discussion, comparing doctrine with scripture, and responding accordingly.


    • You are quite welcome. I have to keep reminding myself that many of these young folks (younger than me anyway)have never learned any real doctrine or theology, as well come out of an educational system that doesn’t teach logic or critical thinking skills anymore.


  2. You know Born…I’ve violated every single one of those rules multiple times myself…and other times, I have upheld them by using words like “I guess”, or “In my opinion” or “I believe”…when what really should have been said is…the Bible says this. I have gotten better about just saying, look, the scripture says this…but I have to admit, there are times when I am just too tired to debate or discuss or whatever you want to call it and it seems those words are kind of the way out of conflict…just like your post stated. And shame on me. Best not to say anything at all during those times I guess until I’m ready to address the issue correctly.

    I don’t know. What do you think?


    • There’s something in this about tossing Holy things to dogs/pigs & pearls in the scenario, but it’s really hard to just let go and leave folks in there gospel/doctrine/theology starved state, as well as knowing when to let go. I’m letting go of a Christian forum in which I’ve broken all the rules. Then these guys were cheering about the ‘numbers’ of posts, as if there was a contest in it I realized there “God” was much smaller than mine. I suggested that such a thing as ‘post counts’ might be taking God’s name in vain and all but one man didn’t get it.


  3. Oh yes, there sure is something about tossing Holy things to dogs/pigs and I’ve found it’s so true. And I think the thing about wishing these folks God speed, lest we be partakers in their evil deeds.

    I was thinking about this just lat week actually. The part about it being really hard to just let go and leave folks in their gospel/doctrine/theology deprived states. the same morning I was thinking about this, I was listening to a presentation from Mike Gendron…and at the very end he speaks of something like this…

    Ask the person if they would want to know if what they believed was wrong according to the Bible. If they say no…shake the dust from your feet.

    But what I don’t know, is for people who keep coming back to you, even though they clearly are twisting scriptures to meet their church doctrine. Do you keep talking with them if they keep coming back?


    • I think if they keep coming to you keep just telling them what the Bible says about a thing, unless it’s clear all they want to do is prove ‘their’ point, whatever it is. That I think answers no to Mike Gendron’s question without it needing to be asked.


  4. Hello Born. Thanks to kittykit, found my way over here. Good post and guilty of all. Now I’m horribly mean and nasty, insert smiley, in that with those who’s mission in life is to ‘debate’ and just cause trouble on blogs,(or wherever) there is no debate. Like mentioned above, tell/ask once (of course thats trickey as well, because most everyone wants to bait!!!…and we fall for it, thinking they are sincere. The usual suspects come over and ‘visit’ me, trying to spread their doctrines of devils on the blog, and I won’t buy. For one thing, I don’t want immature, young readers to be swayed into this garbage besides then I’m guilty of promoting their garbage, at least that’s my thought. I think in our sincere contending for the Truth, we can get caught up in the evil of the thing, if you know what I mean.Thinking of the many ‘visitors’…the usual, who go around…they spend probably an hour or so constructing their replies, with their smiles on their faces, thinking that they are going to make an inroad, and then I hit trash. (after I have already told them the scoop) Sent all that hard work to the dumpster where it belongs. Can’t, or personally think we shouldn’t, debate with a known reprobate. The usual suspects that debate have a long history, as seen in looking them up. Leave them in their depravity, the Lord will either bring judgement upon their heads, because of the Truth spoken to them or call them out of it. Really none of my business (course all the while praying for them). I say, say what’s needed, if rejected, send them on their way, the Lord takes care of the rest in His way and in His time. I don’t want to be guilty of trying to manipulate, which is easy to get into. Hope I’ve made some kind of sense here. Anyway, just some lame little thoughts from me this morning! Looking forward to going through your blog, and thanks for your post, Born4Battle!


  5. In the end, people believe what they ‘want’ to believe The carnal mind is God’e enemy. I have to keep that in mind. They are doing what comes ‘naturally’. tell the truth in love and let God take it from their. If God opens their hearts, what they ‘want ‘ to believe and they will be eager to investigate scripture for themselves.


  6. Pingback: The Top 10 Rules for Polite ‘Christian’ Conversation in a Postmodern Culture « Kit's Blog

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